mr456
03-16-2002, 11:57 PM
This list of rules will be handed to each person as
> they enter Iowa:
> >
> >
> >1. That slope-shouldered farm boy you are
> snickering at did more work
> >before breakfast than you will do all week at the
> gym. How'd you like to
> >go
> >home and tell your momma you got your ass kicked by
> a big guy in bib
> >overalls?
> >
> >2. It's called a "gravel road." No matter how
> slow you drive, you're
> >going
> >to get dust on your BMW. I have a four-wheel drive
> because I need it. Now
> >drive or get it out of the way.
> >
> >3. We all started hunting and fishing when we were
> nine years old. Yeah,
> >we saw Bambi. We got over it.
> >
> >4. Any references to "corn fed" when talking about
> our women will get your
> >ass kicked...by our women.
> >
> >5. Pull your pants up, and turn your hat around.
> You look like an idiot.
> >
> >6. If that cell phone rings while a bunch of
> mallards are making their
> >final approach, we will shoot it. You might hope
> you don't have it up to
> >your ear at the time.
> >
> >7. No, there's no "Vegetarian Special" on the
> menu. Order steak. Order
> >it
> >rare. Or, you can order the Chef's Salad and pick
> off the two pounds of
> >ham
> >
> >and turkey.
> >
> >8. Yeah, we have sweet tea. It comes in a glass
> -- with two packets of
> >sugar and a long spoon.
> >
> >9. You bring Coke into my house, it better be
> brown, wet, and served over
> >ice.
> >
> >10. So you have a sixty thousand dollar car. We're
> real impressed. We
> >have
> >quarter-million dollar combines that we use two
> weeks a year.
> >
> >11. Let's get this straight. We may have one
> stoplight in town. We stop
> >when it's red.
> >We may even stop when it's yellow.
> >
> >12. Our women hunt, fish, and drive trucks because
> they want to. So,
> >you're a feminist.
> >Isn't that cute.
> >
> >13. Yeah, we eat catfish, Northern, walleye and
> turtle, too. If you
> >really
> >want sushi and caviar, it's available at the bait
> shop.
> >
> >14. They are pigs and cows. That's what they
> smell like. Get over it.
> >Don't like it?Interstate 80 runs two ways; get on
> it.
> >
> >15. The "Opener" refers to the first days of
> fishing and deer season.
> >They
> >are religious holidays. You can get breakfast at
> the church.
> >
> >16. So what, if every person in every pick-up
> waves? It's called being
> >friendly. Understand the concept?
> >
> >17. Yeah, we have golf courses. Don't hit in the
> water hazards. It spooks
> >the fish.
> >
> >
> >Have a nice stay!
>
>
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> they enter Iowa:
> >
> >
> >1. That slope-shouldered farm boy you are
> snickering at did more work
> >before breakfast than you will do all week at the
> gym. How'd you like to
> >go
> >home and tell your momma you got your ass kicked by
> a big guy in bib
> >overalls?
> >
> >2. It's called a "gravel road." No matter how
> slow you drive, you're
> >going
> >to get dust on your BMW. I have a four-wheel drive
> because I need it. Now
> >drive or get it out of the way.
> >
> >3. We all started hunting and fishing when we were
> nine years old. Yeah,
> >we saw Bambi. We got over it.
> >
> >4. Any references to "corn fed" when talking about
> our women will get your
> >ass kicked...by our women.
> >
> >5. Pull your pants up, and turn your hat around.
> You look like an idiot.
> >
> >6. If that cell phone rings while a bunch of
> mallards are making their
> >final approach, we will shoot it. You might hope
> you don't have it up to
> >your ear at the time.
> >
> >7. No, there's no "Vegetarian Special" on the
> menu. Order steak. Order
> >it
> >rare. Or, you can order the Chef's Salad and pick
> off the two pounds of
> >ham
> >
> >and turkey.
> >
> >8. Yeah, we have sweet tea. It comes in a glass
> -- with two packets of
> >sugar and a long spoon.
> >
> >9. You bring Coke into my house, it better be
> brown, wet, and served over
> >ice.
> >
> >10. So you have a sixty thousand dollar car. We're
> real impressed. We
> >have
> >quarter-million dollar combines that we use two
> weeks a year.
> >
> >11. Let's get this straight. We may have one
> stoplight in town. We stop
> >when it's red.
> >We may even stop when it's yellow.
> >
> >12. Our women hunt, fish, and drive trucks because
> they want to. So,
> >you're a feminist.
> >Isn't that cute.
> >
> >13. Yeah, we eat catfish, Northern, walleye and
> turtle, too. If you
> >really
> >want sushi and caviar, it's available at the bait
> shop.
> >
> >14. They are pigs and cows. That's what they
> smell like. Get over it.
> >Don't like it?Interstate 80 runs two ways; get on
> it.
> >
> >15. The "Opener" refers to the first days of
> fishing and deer season.
> >They
> >are religious holidays. You can get breakfast at
> the church.
> >
> >16. So what, if every person in every pick-up
> waves? It's called being
> >friendly. Understand the concept?
> >
> >17. Yeah, we have golf courses. Don't hit in the
> water hazards. It spooks
> >the fish.
> >
> >
> >Have a nice stay!
>
>
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